Mandatory Penis Measurement Is a Senior Prank Straight Out of 'South Park'
Despite all the differences between Gen Z and Millennials, arguments over everything from middle parts to low-rise jeans and just how horrible the impending environmental apocalypse will actually be, one uniting factor has stood the test of time – dick inspection pranks are funny as fuck.
Earlier this month, several students at The Woodlands High School in Woodlands, Texas, found themselves the subject of r/Pics latest viral post, an image of their senior prank poster making the rounds.
“To all male students, faculty, and staff of The Woodlands High,” commenced the phony note, posted to the platform on Tuesday, April 18.
“The CISD District is required to conduct mandatory penis inspections on all male students at the Woodlands High School in accordance with Health Code 4.20,” it stated, laying out the time and place of the alleged dick inspection, noting that “All male students MUST attend an inspection or they WILL NOT GRADUATE.”
“Please ensure that all penises are clean and orderly, as there will be no special circumstances. Note that a failing grade will be given to any individual with an erection,” the note concluded before signing off Mike Hawk and Richard L. Dong, the respective Director of Genital Commissions and Head Penis Inspector
Despite garnering upwards of 23,400 upvotes, numerous senior prank stories, and several words of encouragement from fellow Redditors – “I think the signature might be the best part,” quipped u/Ascendancy08, the concept behind this viral prank is far from new.
The dick inspection prank – and copypasta-esque list of odd requirements and suspiciously horny monikers – has fooled students and sparked controversy at several schools and organizations since at least 2011, according to Snopes, which has an entire entry dedicated to this prank.
Amid its odd 12+ year time in the limelight, one school even formally addressed the gag, clarifying that no, they would not in fact be checking out students’ penises.
“While the university does not endorse pranks, we trust that our students would recognize that this letter is not an official communication from the university and was not distributed by UBC Student Housing and Community Services,” Andrew Parr of the University of British Colombia’s Student Housing and Community Services explained to Daily Hive, a local Vancouver outlet of their iteration on the letter last November.
“We encourage any students who are concerned about this letter or the legitimacy of communication from Student Housing and Community Services to reach out to our office anytime,” he elaborated in his email reply.
Hey, there’s no dicking around when it comes to inspections.